Here’s my go-to Strategy for Soothing Anxiety + Stress
As a therapist who works predominantly with women navigating anxiety, stress and trauma, one of the most common questions I’m asked is: How can I calm myself down?
It’s such a good question. And deceptively complex. Each woman I work with experiences anxiety in their own unique way, with a specific constellation of symptoms. Some have racing thoughts and insomnia, others experience nausea and tension headaches, extreme anger, while someone else might report having the “Sunday scaries” … but all the time. You may know the terms fight, flight and freeze (and most recently fawn)? Our sympathetic nervous system gets overzealous during times like this, and the aforementioned is the result.
Everyone is seeking their own medicine in a time when anxiety has become commonplace. Often this requires a whole toolkit full of strategies and practices to support your unique nervous system, but the one tool that I almost always suggest to folks is one you’ve probably heard suggested and suggested some more: Breathwork.
And there’s good reason …
The Art and Science of Breath
First things first. While breathwork has recieved a lot of attention in recent years it’s hardly a new development. In fact, breathwork is an ancient practice rooted in Vedic science - think, Pranayama in yoga class.
The Western medical community has only recenlty deemed breathwork as an effective tool for working with heightened states such as anxiety, stress response, and non-specific emotional dysregulation. Author James Nestor explores this trajectory through his own first-person narrative in Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, in which he details his own journey with re-learning how to breath to heal his health.
It turns out we do not necessarily need to recreate the wheel when it comes to anxiety treatment, we need to look to the original wheelmakers for some guidance.
Breathwork is a practice that involves intentionally regulating the breath to help us calm down. While it may seem basic, the effects of breathwork on our mental and physical well-being have been documented for thousands of years.
One of the key ways breathwork supports a calm state is by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system - this is the part of the nervous systems that is responsible for feelings of calm and safety. To write in detail about how this happens would require another blog post, but I will note one example of how controlled breathing can support calm, and that is by stimulating the Vagus nerve.
When we practice slow controlled breathing the expansion and contraction of our diaphragm stimulates the longest cranial nerve in our body that runs from out gut up our spinal cord to our brain - the Vagus nerve. The stimulation essentially causes a domino effect of relaxation response helping us to feel calmer. I share this tidbit of info to show that the recommendation of breathwork is not arbitrary, but is actually very much rooted in neuroscience.
Three Breathing Techniques to get you Started …
Let’s get to it.
Diaphragmatic Breathing, also known as belly breathing, involves taking slow, deep breaths that originate from the diaphragm rather than the chest. To practice this technique, find a comfortable seated or lying position and place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. As you inhale deeply through your nose, allow your belly to rise and expand, feeling your hand move outward. Then, exhale slowly through your mouth, letting your abdomen fall as you release the breath. Repeat this process for several minutes, focusing on the sensation of the breath moving in and out of your body.
2. Alternate Nostril Breathing stems from the practice of yoga. This technique involves alternating the flow of breath between the left and right nostrils. To practice alternate nostril breathing, sit in a comfortable position and use your right thumb to close your right nostril while you inhale through your left nostril. Then, close your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through your right nostril. Inhale through the right nostril, then close it with your thumb and exhale through the left nostril. Continue this pattern for several rounds, focusing on the rhythmic flow of the breath.
3. Box breathing involves breathing in for a count of four, holding the breath for a count of four, exhaling for a count of four, and holding the breath again for a count of four before beginning the cycle again. This technique is particularly helpful for folks who like structure and are soothed by the focus on counting.
Closing Thoughts
Before closing up this post, I want to note that sometimes I encounter skepticism when I recommend breathwork. Sometimes it’s because folks have tried and they “didn’t feel anything.” For those people I suggest giving it another go, with more detailed instruction on how to practice the techniques. It’s easy to find breathwork classes online and in person, as well as guided breathwork exercises on Youtube, Spotify and the like. Many psychotherapists will also work with their clients in session to practice the techniques. I certainly do.
I also want to note that if folks are skeptical, it may be because they’ve heard the suggestion so often, they’ve become desensitized to the idea it may actually work. That’s why I felt it so important to highlight the neuroscience behind breathwork.
Lastly, and as always, if you are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, stress or trauma, professional help can be invaluable and I’m here to support. My practice based in San Diego serves women in the state of California, with specialities in anxiety, trauma and stress, as well as hormonal mental health. I’d love to hear from you.
